My journey through weight loss, fitness and the new me.

Posts tagged ‘weight gain’

Back with my tail between my legs

I haven’t posted anything for 2 months and 2 days now.

Life beat me. I felt stressed, upset, lonely, and out of control.

So I ate chocolate and felt better.  I ate Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and felt better.

My clothes started to feel tighter.  I felt even more miserable than before.  So I ate even more chocolate, and ice cream, and takeaway food.

I’ve been avoiding going near my scales, I was dreading what they were going to tell me. All that binge eating for the last couple months must have hit me hard.

Tonight I finally got some guts and stepped on.  I had a big lunch today and stopped at a coffee shop for carrot cake on the way home, I normally weigh myself first thing before I’ve had breakfast to get results that are as accurate as possible, but by the morning I may have lost the nerve.

So my bad two months have cost me 4lbs.

All things considered that’s not too bad.

Things need to change. I’ve been overweight and upset too long, I need to change.

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Emotional Eating

Today has been a bad day, and the hot chocolate and slice of carrot cake sitting in front of me are testemant to that.

Yesterday was my youngest daughters 4th birthday.  We played crazy golf, went to soft play, had breakfast at a lovely restaurant and all the family over for birthday tea.

Today I had to come back to work.  My job is okay, I like my coworkers, but the minimum 10 hours of overtime we have to do on top of our full time hours is awful.  Half of which is completely unpaid! Because I had a day off I had some serious hours to make up today.

But a really bad storm hit during the night.  Winds up to 145mph.

Trains were cancelled.

Buses were cancelled.

I finally found one train running, that tripled my commute and left me walking the last mile or so in the wind and driving rain.

I arrived at work soaked to the skin knowing I still had another 13hrs to go before I could leave.

All public transport has been halted now, so I’m effectively stuck here.  Now my husband will have to keep the girls up long past bedtime to come and pick me up.

I’ll miss dinner.

I’ll miss bedtime stories.

I miss my family.

I know I’m a comfort eater, and I know that’s my weight problem.  I eat a fairly healthy diet, topped up with too many comfort foods, far too many.

But today my willpower just isn’t there. I don’t want to be here, I want to be at home raising my children.  But we can’t survive on one income, we tried. I want to be wearing dry clothes. I want to be paid for the extra hours I have to work that I want to spend with my family. I also want a tub of Ben & Jerrys ice cream.

How do you cope with bad days?

Days like this I wish I at least drank coffee instead!

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