I know overall I have a long journey ahead. But I’d rather focus on mini goals just now.
1. Do not visit Starbucks
2. Do not order takeaway
3. Use apples to curb late night sweet cravings
4. Reread ‘Adore Yourself Slim’ to stop the negative thoughts
I haven’t posted anything for 2 months and 2 days now.
Life beat me. I felt stressed, upset, lonely, and out of control.
So I ate chocolate and felt better. I ate Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and felt better.
My clothes started to feel tighter. I felt even more miserable than before. So I ate even more chocolate, and ice cream, and takeaway food.
I’ve been avoiding going near my scales, I was dreading what they were going to tell me. All that binge eating for the last couple months must have hit me hard.
Tonight I finally got some guts and stepped on. I had a big lunch today and stopped at a coffee shop for carrot cake on the way home, I normally weigh myself first thing before I’ve had breakfast to get results that are as accurate as possible, but by the morning I may have lost the nerve.
So my bad two months have cost me 4lbs.
All things considered that’s not too bad.
Things need to change. I’ve been overweight and upset too long, I need to change.
That’s a pretty perfect title for my day yesterday. I made a real mess of things!
Breakfast: I got up on time, but then the dog walk took longer than usual, we couldn’t find my daughters school tie, I couldn’t find any clean socks. I ran out of time for my cereal in all the chaos… and then forgot to lift the banana I’d planned on having on the train.
Lunch: In the crazy morning rush I had just crabbed a packet of noodles from the cupboard. I knew they were syn free at Slimming World so figured that would be a good choice. But I’d never tried that flavour before and they tasted awful! I mangaged to mess up cooking them too and they ended up chewy. I had a little but couldn’t face anymore. Did I then nip out and grab a soup or something? No I just skipped lunch.
I didn’t have any snacks during the day, because I hadn’t thought to lift anything. I had a couple glasses of orange squash, the sugar in that must have kept me going.
By the time I caught the train home from work I felt so drained. I got really woozy and dizzy on the train and could barely stay awake. I thought I might faint walking up the hill to the house. I almost crawled onto the couch when I got home.
Then I messed up. I had a couple chocolate digestive biscuits hoping for a quick sugar lift. Cue the guilty chocolate feeling.
Dinner thankfully was lovely. A spicy sausage and bean casserole. Since I don’t think I’d eaten any protein whatsoever in more than 24hrs it was very much appreciated. (Thank goodness my husband can cook!) Again it’s a Slimming World recipe so I knew it would be healthy.
But the biscuit guilt lingered on and I had more chocolate after dinner.
So it was definitely a case of failing to plan and boy did I fail! I ended up eating junk and feeling awful!
Clean slate… fresh start.