My journey through weight loss, fitness and the new me.

Posts tagged ‘bad day’

Too Much On Your Plate

For once I’m not talking about food.

Today was my dreaded fatigue related doctors appointment. I had a bad turn this afternoon at work and was really struggling with my breathing, but we had a project that had to go out today so I stuck it out and left work with just enough time to get to my appointment.

By the time I sat on the train listening to music and strolled into the surgery with time to spare I was still really struggling to breathe. It felt like I was breathing but not getting any oxygen, sounds mad yes. It makes a change from miraculously recovering hours before seeing a doctor making you look like a total hypochondriac.

I saw the new Dr, a young girl, very pleasant. She took my blood pressure, listened to my chest, all the usual checks and I’ve to go back in to get a full blood check done, looking at iron, thyroid function and a million things I didn’t quite understand.

But she said it’s very possible I’ve just got “too much on my plate”.

So if the tests come back clear for the common causes they can run others to check for less common things. No idea what they may be. But in the meantime I’ve to take it easier.

The things on my plate are my two young daughters and my full time job. I’ve given up all my hobbies, I’ve got no time. I don’t know how to cut back on that. I can’t not work and the overtime is mandatory although even that isn’t running anymore. I’ve only worked there since August so I can’t move jobs and as any parent will tell you, no child understands the term “take it easy”.

For once I’m actually just hoping I’m anaemic or something far less complicated.

Ah vent over. This was definitely more of a Dear Diary post tonight I’m afraid.

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Ted, my feel–better–hugs dog

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Emotional Eating

Today has been a bad day, and the hot chocolate and slice of carrot cake sitting in front of me are testemant to that.

Yesterday was my youngest daughters 4th birthday.  We played crazy golf, went to soft play, had breakfast at a lovely restaurant and all the family over for birthday tea.

Today I had to come back to work.  My job is okay, I like my coworkers, but the minimum 10 hours of overtime we have to do on top of our full time hours is awful.  Half of which is completely unpaid! Because I had a day off I had some serious hours to make up today.

But a really bad storm hit during the night.  Winds up to 145mph.

Trains were cancelled.

Buses were cancelled.

I finally found one train running, that tripled my commute and left me walking the last mile or so in the wind and driving rain.

I arrived at work soaked to the skin knowing I still had another 13hrs to go before I could leave.

All public transport has been halted now, so I’m effectively stuck here.  Now my husband will have to keep the girls up long past bedtime to come and pick me up.

I’ll miss dinner.

I’ll miss bedtime stories.

I miss my family.

I know I’m a comfort eater, and I know that’s my weight problem.  I eat a fairly healthy diet, topped up with too many comfort foods, far too many.

But today my willpower just isn’t there. I don’t want to be here, I want to be at home raising my children.  But we can’t survive on one income, we tried. I want to be wearing dry clothes. I want to be paid for the extra hours I have to work that I want to spend with my family. I also want a tub of Ben & Jerrys ice cream.

How do you cope with bad days?

Days like this I wish I at least drank coffee instead!

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